Published by City Farmer, Canada's Office of Urban Agriculture


Christmas Worms

candleBy Julie Gordon

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.

I lay still beside him until I heard a snore,
then I slipped from the bed and out through the door.

I crept up the hallway and down the front stair;
I tiptoed to the living room to see what was there.

And lo and behold, under the tree,
was a shiny black box labelled to ME!

I pulled and I pried, and as I lifted the lid,
I heard a cough from behind, my husband up from bed.

I stood up and stammered "I-I just couldn't sleep";
"Mm-hm", answered Don, "well that box'll keep".

And so I resigned to go back to bed,
but visions of gifts still danced through my head.

A new dress, a necklace, a crate full of socks;
what could possibly be contained in that box?

A tea set, some perfume, a puppy to keep;
I ran through the options as I drifted to sleep.

In the morning I woke from that sleep with a scream;
creepies and crawlies; I'd had a bad dream.

And then I remembered just what day it was:
December 25th, Christmas, of course!

I ran to the living room to see what I'd get,
but I wasn't prepared for the sight that I met.

There were worms in the carpet, worms on the chairs,
worms in the hallway, worms on the stairs.

Worms hung from the lampshades and climbed up the walls;
they infested the kitchen; they crawled through the halls.

I looked at my husband; on his face was pure shock;
bewildered he wondered "how'd they escape from that box?"

And then I remembered that I'd lifted the lid;
could worms have been what my Christmas box hid?

"Yes", said my hubby, "it's a vermicomposter";
under my breath I muttered "I'd as soon have a toaster".

But alas I was stuck with this so-called 'worm bin',
So I set about getting those worms back in.

And now it's one year later, Christmas eve once again;
my house plants are thriving, I've worm bins times ten.

Yes, it's true, that black gold sure works like a charm;
I can't wait 'til my husband opens his brand new ant farm!

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Revised December 17, 1996

Published by City Farmer
Canada's Office of Urban Agriculture